Father's Day

Menstuff® has compiled information on the issue of Father's Day. Photo above is by Bob Willoughby from The Family of Children.

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FATHER'S DAY SPECIALS
CD
CD
CD
CD
CD
VIDEO

Click on photo for more information.

IMPORTANT BOOKS

Click on covers for more specific information.

COLUMNS

Bruce Linton
Ted Braude
Armin Brott
Tim Hartnett
Kathy Noll
Peter Baylies

Mark Brandenburg
Reena Sommer
John Hershey
Linda Nielsen
Independent Means
Mark Phillips


Louis C.K. on Father's Day

There are a few dads out there you might not think to acknowledge on Father’s Day. Here are a few who go the extra nautical mile for their offspring: seahorses, reef damselfish, and believe it or not, sea spiders.

Seahorse dads are famous for holding their young in a pouch until they are big enough to pop out and motor away. Elsewhere on a coral reef, damselfish males do the housekeeping needed to make a nest. After the females lay their eggs, the males guard them and keep them clean until they hatch. Sea spiders, an odd group with leggy animals the size of a dime, attach sacs of eggs to the dad's legs, where the embryos grow until ready to be released.

And there are more heroic dads to be discovered under the sea. All these creatures play a role in keeping our oceans healthy, and while we recognize some of these marine dads on Father’s Day, it’s important to ensure they are with us next year and for years to come.

On Fathers' Day, we get a chance to acknowledge the father figures in our lives -- for the pouch they gave us when we needed it -- and now perhaps give them a little something in return.

*     *     *

Be a Dad - A moment here, a moment there:

Louis C.K. on Father's Day
ESPN "Highlights"
Cheerleading Pop

Be an Adoptive Dad:

Recorded Card
Forgotten Lunch
BBQ
Paintball
*     *     *

There are more collect calls made on Father's Day than any other day of the year. - AT&T. (Why don't you call your dad and foot the bill.)

Give Fathers a Break
Father's Day Presence
A New Kind of Family
Do It For Dad! 2007
Top 10 Celebrity Dads - 2009
Saving Each Other's Lives
Father's Day - Awareness
A Teddy Bear's Adventure at the Dump
The dark side of dad
Will History Repeat Itself? You Might Change It!
Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2001
Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2000
Recognition of Mother's Day vs. Father's Day
"Happy Father's Day, Dad!"
Fathers' Forum: A support group for dads
Forget the tie! Father’s Day Presence

A Gift Beyond

Father's Day 1999
Mother's Day 1870
The Mothers of Father's Day
The 5 Scariest Moms in History
Happy "Bad Father's" Day says the Fox Television Channel
Father’s Day or Demonize the Father Day?
Snippets
Greeting Cards
Newsbytes:

Related Issues: Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, Adolescence, kidstuff, children,  fathers, fathers & sons, fathers & daughters, single fathers, step fathers, military fathers and fathers stories

Snippets


Here is some information comparing the two holidays:

Happy Father's Day, anyway, dad!

The dark side of dad


'I wished he would die. And then he did'

Tomorrow I'll think fondly of Dad. Which is odd, because I hated him when he was alive.

Dad was an angry, hard-swearing, tattooed man's man. He'd been an Alaska bush pilot, but by the time I came along, he was a California travelling salesman, drinking himself to death. When I was two he got drunk and threw my empty crib across the bedroom. When I was 12, he challenged my brother to a fist fight. He routinely shouted at us in front of our friends. By the time I was 13, I wished he would die.

And then he did. I thought that my wish had killed him, and for the longest time I couldn't forgive myself. I was scared to death I would damage someone else.

But four decades on, I've forgiven myself for hating him. More difficult, I've somehow forgiven myself for the Dad-like fury I inflicted on my own family.

To my surprise, as I became kinder to myself, I formed a more rounded picture of Dad. His anger had its reasons. His father died young, leaving him with a stepfather who favoured his own kids. When Dad was 14, his preacher grandfather hauled him in front of the congregation and viciously denounced him for teaching other kids the Charleston.

Humiliated, Dad ran away from home and joined the carnival, growing up on the road with hardened carnies. In middle age, his sales job was crushing. He was a brilliant man with a Grade 8 education, reduced to knocking on doors and imploring merchants to buy advertising promotions like imprinted pens and squeeze coin purses.

But Dad's biggest problem was that he never got in touch with his own pain, never learned how to process his feelings. Like many men, he believed the lie that "Big boys don't cry," so he refused to seek out friends and instead turned his pain into anger.

The anger kept shameful sorrow at bay. Swigging vodka straight from the bottle, he forced us to cry his tears.

This was the Dad I hated. But a funny thing happened after I forgave him. A different Dad returned from the shadows, borne by a flood of memory. I found myself recalling the times when he didn't drink:

It was evening at the river. I was five, and Dad was still young and strong. We were camping in the California Coast Range. Although I couldn't swim, I had wandered down to the river after dinner and paddled an inner tube out to the middle of the big dark pool. I lay back in the inner tube, gazing at the cliff that loomed above on the other side of the water.

Suddenly I slipped through the middle of the tube, and I was in the water, struggling. I sank into the cold dark water. As I resurfaced, I could see Dad running down the beach, tearing off his shoes and plunging powerfully into the river. Then I was under again, swallowing cold water, sinking into blackness ...

Then I felt myself being pushed powerfully to the surface, as Dad rose like a sea lion below me. I gasped the air, and was saved.

But he had swallowed water, too, and began to cough and struggle himself. "Dad!" I cried in a panic. He sank below me, and I again fell back into the black waters, gulping and sputtering, stepping on his head. As we sank, the murky yellow light of the world receded into darkness, with no sound but my thundering heartbeat.

I felt his hands grip my calves and place my feet firmly on his shoulders. Then, as in the game we'd often played, he drifted down and bounced back up from the river bottom, thrusting me to the surface. And then his tattooed arm was around my chest, towing me to safety. Keeping my face above the water, he coughed, then murmured, "It's OK, Cal. It's OK."

Finally we staggered on to the sandy beach. As I stood gasping, shivering and crying, he hugged me to his heaving chest. Then he went to the trailer to get a towel and wrapped it around me.

Later, as he heated hot chocolate on the Coleman stove he did the unusual -- he sat me on his lap. After a while, he turned the Giants game on the radio, and we sipped hot chocolate while the sun sank behind the cliff.

At the end of his life, I think Dad, like me, had forgotten that day. He forgot his goodness. I wish that, when he ruminated on his failures, he had been able to remember the good things. I wish that, when he thought of his years of unemployment, his bankruptcy, the jalopies he drove, his failed marriages, his destructive anger, that he had been able to recall that day on the river. Most of all, I wish he'd had a kind father to remind him of the good things about himself -- his sense of humour, his charm, his ability to spin a story for a crowd, his compassion for the unfortunate, his intelligence, his ability to make a day's outing with a young boy into an exciting adventure.

I wish someone had told him that he did not have to be a Man of Steel, that it was OK to be sad. I wish he had understood that he was no different from any of us, a mixture of good and bad. I wish he had realized that he could be forgiven, and that he could forgive.

The fact was, he didn't have to die alone in the Country of Resentment. There was room for him in the Country of Love. -
Source: Calvin Sandborn is a professor of environmental law and the legal director of the University of Victoria Environmental Law Clinic. He is the author of Becoming the Kind Father: A Son's Journey.

Will History Repeat Itself? You Might Change It!


In 2000, we tracked some 35 newspapers including 20 of the top 25 markets in the US and USA Today. A number of these newspapers took part of that space for father's with a comparison often titled "How Does Dad Stack Up?" With a subtitle "Do dads get short shrift on Father's Day?" Here's a comparison of how moms and dads fare on their days of honor:

What we'll spend on Dad: $90 million. On Mom $105 million (+14%)

How many cards we'll send: Dad 95 million. Mom: 150 million (I don't think they included spending on cards or both parents are getting pretty cheap cards and nothing else. (+37%)

Percentage of adults who eat out on...Father's Day: 23%; Mother's Day: 38%. (+39%)

Calls on: Father's Day: 140 million+; Mother's Day 160 million+ (+13%)

Rank in terms of flowers sent: Father's Day: 10th; Mother's Day: 3rd

Number of Amazon.com books whose titles contain: "Father": 3,289; "Mother": 5,585 (+41%)

None of those stories covered how those very newspapers treat father's with less significance than mother's in their own newspapers. In 2000, these newspapers gave Mother's Day 23% more stories and over 40% more space than Father's Day stories. Check out the comparisons. Maybe you're newspaper is represented and you could point out this disparage before they lock up their Father's Day edition. Just ask them "How Do Dads Stack Up in Your Newspaper?"

Sources: National Retail Federation; Hallmark Cards; National Restaurant Association; AT&T; Society of American Florists; Amazon.com

Recognition of Mother's Day vs. Father's Day


Mother's Day was first proclaimed in Boston in 1870 by Julia Ward Howe, a Unitarian. The proclamation was a rallying call for peace. It was observed in 1907 at the request of Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia, PA who asked her church to hold service in memory of all mothers on the anniversary of her mother's death. It became a Presidential Proclamation in perpetuity on May 8, 1914 always issued for the second Sunday in May. Father's Day occurred first on June 19, 1910, 40 years later at the request of Sonora Smart (Mrs. John B) Dodd of Spokane, WA. It was proclaimed for that date by the mayor of Spokane and recognized by the governor of Washington. The idea was publicly supported by President Calvin Coolidge in 1924, but did not received a Presidential Proclaimed until 1966, and then only for that year. It was assured annual recognition by President Proclamation on April 24, 1972, 58 years after the presidential proclamation for Mother's Day and 102 years after the first recognition of Mother's Day. It remains the only Presidential Proclamation directed to the benefit of men while there are nine different Presidential Proclamation's for the benefit of women. Ever wonder why all of the anti-father and anti-male laws and legal decisions are going into effect nationally and locally. Think about it!  What have you, as a man, actively done to make a difference? Women had to push for us in this and many other cases. But what about all the other areas of a man's life that aren't receiving any attention. Life span, work safety. Protection from violence. Protection from false allegations. Protection from unfair custody and child support laws. Protecting our sons from genital mutilation. And, of course, I could go on. Do something before you regret ending up on the short end of the stick.
 

Happy Mother's Day vs. Happy Father's Day - 2000 (5/14/00 and 6/18/00)


A number of circumstances lead to my making a cross country trip in a rental car on Mother's Day (2000). As I stopped along the way, I picked up the local Sunday newspapers. I became curious how the editorial departments cover Mother's Day and how that might differ from their Father's Day coverage. If my memory services me, the San Francisco Chronicle over the years would write positive stories for Mother's Day and Father's Day usually brought out the "Dead Beat Dads" or distant dads, or violent dads stories. It will be interesting to see if this is just a bias I have created from the work I do here, or if the media is still treating mother's and father's differently.

In order to cover small as well as large cities around the U.S., here's a list of the local papers from our 20 largest cities plus five papers from the next 80 largest cities and 5 from cities smaller than the top 100 plus 1 national newspaper. I'm told we may have as much as four weeks before we get some of the issues so we will add our analysis as the issues come in. You can help. Particularly with Mother's Day issue from the Atlanta Constitution and St. Louis Post Dispatch. From the broadcast side, you would think a news organization like CNN would be better. However, in checking out their Father's Day site, it hasn't been updated since June, 1996.

This comparison will be updated as missing editions arrive. As of 7/4/00 we have 22 complete comparisons of a possible 35.

LEGEND:  A - Access; AL - Ann Landers; BK - Book Reviews; C- Comics; DA - Dear Abby; F - Father's Day Issue; FPB - Front Page Banner; FPS - Front Page Story; - Mother's Day Issue; MM - Miss Manners; MMM - Million Mom March; P - Parade Magazine; TA - Total number of articles (excluding blurbs and book reviews); U - USA Today Weekend Magazine. Inches - Total inches of FPS, FPB and Plus articles. TA - Total Articles excluding FPB, A, AL, BR, C, DA, MM, P, and U. NA - Issue not available.

Section

Mother's Day
Father's Day

Access Magazine

Not
Not

Anne Landers

45"
28-42"

Dear Abby

18"
38"

Miss Manners

Not
Not

Parade Magazine

304"
223"

USA Today Magazine

97"
42"

Comics (Yes)

31
29

Comics (No)

68
73

Comics Not Published

10
10

Grand Total (20 direct newspaper comparisons to date)

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's

49
19
80
-6
10861
129

F - Avg

2.45
.95
4
.3
543
6,45

Mother's

53
31
106
2
15212
159

M - Avg

2.65
1.55
5
.1
761
7.95

M to F

+8%
+63%
+25%
-67%
+40%
+23%

Atlanta Constitution

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
6
0
912
8

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Boston Globe

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

1
0
2
0
568
3

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Casper Star Tribune

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
1
0
119
3

Mother's Day

1
0
3
0
547
4

Cheyenne Tribune-Eagle

C DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

3
0
5
0
373
8

Mother's Day

1
0
3
0
249
4

Chicago Tribune

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

5
4
3
0
721
8

Cleveland Plain Dealer

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
5
1
786
7

Mother's Day

2
0
8
0
677
10

Dallas Morning News

AL DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

1
2
12
0
1493
13

Denver Post

AL C

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

1
1
9
0
944
10

Denver Rocky Mountain News

C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

4
3
10
0
2179
14

Detroit Free Press

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Houston Chronicle

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

5
0`
6
1
994
11

Mother's Day

5
1
10
0
1041
15

Kansas City Star

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

7
2
3
0
1597
10

Lincoln Journal Star

AL C U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
3
0
458
5

Mother's Day

5
2
3
0
519
8

Los Angeles Times

AL DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
3
0
598
9

Mother's Day

2
2
6
0
1309
8

Marin Independent Journal

AL C U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
5
0
418
7

Mother's Day

2
0
2
0
155
4

Miami Herald

AL C

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
5
3
469
7

Mother's Day

2
1
8
1
875
10

Minneapolis Star Tribune

A AL C DA U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

5
2
4
0
1002
9

Mother's Day

2
7
8
0
900
10

New York Daily News

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

New York Post

DA

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
5
1
395
5

Mother's Day

0
2
12
1
785
12

New York Times

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
3
0
127
3

Mother's Day

1
2
6
0
536
7

Omaha World-Herald

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
1
2
0
386
4

Mother's Day

1
1
4
0
429
5

Philadelphia Inquirer

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Phoenix Arizona Republic

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

3
1
10
0
555
13

Mother's Day

1
1
3
0
374
4

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

C P

****FPS****
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

1
1
5
1
770
6

Mother's Day

3
1
6
0
1001
9

Portland Oregonian

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2-3
3
5
0
787
7-8

Mother's Day

2
1
3
0
715
5

St. Louis Post Dispatch

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
7
1
1065"
9

Mother's Day

NA
NA
NA
NA
NA
NA

Salt Lake City Tribune

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

3
0
3
0
367
6

San Diego Union-Tribune

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
0
6
0
642
8

Mother's Day

2
0
2
0
812
4

San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle

AL C DA P U

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
3
0
759
9

Mother's Day

5
2
8
0
1153
13

San Jose Mercury News

AL C MM P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
2
0
750
4

Mother's Day

5
1
5
0
1130
10

Santa Barbara News Press

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

4
1
3
0
431
7

Mother's Day

3
2
6
0
665
9

Seattle Times

AL C DA P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

2
2
6
0
1121
8

Mother's Day

5
5
8-10
0
1987
13-15

Sparks Tribune

AL C P

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Mother's Day

2
1
0
0
578
2

USA Today

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

0
1-2
2
0
42
2

Mother's Day

7
2
2
0
352
9

Washington Post

AL

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

Father's Day

6
1
2
0
1193
8

Mother's Day

0
0
0
0
0
0

Top 20 Metro Areas

*FPS*
*FPB*
*Plus*
Reviews
Inches
**TA**

F

0
0
0
0
0
0

F - Avg

0
0
0
0
0
0

M

0
0
0
0
0
0

M - Ave

0
0
0
0
0
0

M to F

%
%
%
%
%
%

A - Access - America's Guide to the Internet. Not, Not.

AL - Ann Landers: M: Two letters, one acknowledging all the work mothers do while putting down the father for not doing anything. The other about an adopted daughter who sincerely thanks her birth parents, whoever they are, who being responsible enough to see that she has a chance for a better life. F: Ann Landers printed a gracious letter from a former wife and Ann acknowledged this and added her own ungracious bit "Never mind that the SOB was not a model husband or father." M = 45"; F = 28"-42"

DA - Dear Abby:  M:  Lift your glasses high in honor of all mothers. F: Dad: A scratch of whiskers to fishing at sunrise. M: 18", F 38"

MM - Miss Manners: Not, Not

P - Parade Magazine:  M: Front cover with Amy Brenneman, "Thanks Mom" continued inside with "Mom Told Me Stories." 1 1/2 p "Trying to Have a Baby?" F:  Al Usner Jr. 2 p "From Father to Son" plus snippet "This Seaman Is a Family Man: He's Father f the Year. and Kids Before Cash" on dads wanting more time with kids versus more money. M = 304": F = 223".

U - USA Today magazine. M: "Money Smart: Can You Afford to Stay at Home? (76") Blowing Kisses" (21") F: "Kathy Mattea sings dad's praises" (23"), Lorrie catches up with Tim McGraw" (19") M 97", F 42"

Comics:

Want to help?  If we don't have your local newspaper listed above, get ahold of a complete copy for Sunday, June 18, 2000 (Father's Day). Go through each section: front page, leisure, sports, editorial, Ann Landers, everywhere they might do a story on Fathers. Cut them out and mail them to us at: The National Men's Resource Center, PO Box 800, San Anselmo, CA 94979. Or, you might like to e-mail a short review of each story (probably under 50 words each) giving the title and essence of the story along with the name of the newspaper, to fathersday@menstuff.org. Then, if you can find the Sunday paper for May 14, 2000 (Mother's Day), do the same thing for any and all stories about Mothers and send it to mothersday@menstuff.org. A good place to start looking is your local library. And, if you copy the stories and send them to us, we'll do the analysis and publish the findings above. Thank!

Newsbytes


Do Fathers Talk with Their Kids?


National Fatherhood Initiative, a nonprofit organization, found that the typical working father spends just 12 minutes a weekday in one-on-one conversation with his children. This means that by the time most children reach six, they will have spent more time watching television than they will spend during their entire lifetimes talking to their father! How does that sound?

Happy Father's Day


What does Father's Day mean to you? Maybe a homemade card, a new tie, or the chance to sit back and relax as your kids volunteer to do all the chores they normally dread. But how did it all begin? Very simply: with one daughter who wanted to honor the father she loved.
Source: kidshealth.org/parent/misc/fathers_day_banner.html

Happy "Bad Father's" Day says the Fox Television Channel


A Fox Television Special aired on Father's Day, June 16, 1998 called "Bad Dads". It was a powerful documentary featuring an extraordinary parenting program which is having remarkable success in turning "bad dads" into responsible, caring fathers. And, while I applaud such a film, it's sad that good fathers have to once again watch the press look at the negative fathers on their day. When was the last time you saw a "Bad Mom" special on Mother's Day. And, NOW's South Carolina Chapter making Sue Smith Woman of the Year, is not quite what I was thinking.

FREE - Father's Day T-Shirt Designs


Is your Dad your superhero? Or is he the struggling chef of the family? Either way, we have the perfect design for the special Dad in your house with these new designs from Hanes T-ShirtMaker! (for use with Hanes T-ShirtMaker software) at www.hanes2u.com click on "It's Time To Celebrate DADS!"

A Gift Beyond


"If your dad is one of those who make engine sounds as he's taking you and your friends to school, why not treat him to a Father's Day driving experience he won't forget?" asks Larry Webster, Car and Driver magazine's technical director. "You won't believe what it's possible to do in a car." Webster is a professional driver who has tested everything from the hottest exotic to the latest sedan. Auto aficionados can meet and race against Webster and the rest of the Car and Driver crew July 23-24 at the magazine's 50th anniversary party, open to the public at Indianapolis Raceway park (caranddriver.com/50). Webster shares with USA Today's Shawn Sell some adrenaline-boosting driving/racing schools. See "Racing Schools"

Father's Day Eve - Vigil for lost fathers; night of mourning and healing

Father's Day - A time to give love and thanks to all fathers, grand fathers, great grand fathers; day for all fathers to celebrate fatherhood and contemplate their sacred duty to provide for the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual needs of their children and the other children of this world.

For all sexually active men who didn't use condoms - Happy Father's Day



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